Microsoft tech support joke

This joke may contain profanity. This is an old joke and sadly some of this has come to pass. How is Microsoft Edge like stainless steel? Boner Pills! Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. What do you receive after you get a tattoo of the founder of Microsoft?

A Bill. I wonder why Microsoft has opened an office inside my computer. These predatory businesses are getting out of hand. What does Microsoft and Hollywood have in common? For each release they make it gets worse. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office I will find you; you have my Word. Global warming. Alien invasion. I had a bad experience with Microsoft Excel I guess you could say, it was a sheet experience.

Microsoft had the Holo-lens, Google had Google Glass.. Apple missed the opportunity to create augmented reality glasses and call them iBrowse. Corona must have hit India hard Microsoft is so stupid What do microsoft excel and climate change have in common? They've both been commonplace since the 80's, but boomers still don't understand them.

I get drunk with power uninstalling microsoft products. I don't do it all the time.. Did you hear the news about Microsoft retiring Internet Explorer in ?

What would Bill gates's porn star name be? What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech? My friend just had a convo with "Microsoft support" I was just about to hang up when they called me, but my friend had a brilliant way of handling them.

This is John Alex from Microsoft Support. We have detected a virus on your computer. Don't mind the fact that I can't pronounce 'Microsoft' properly," in Somebody just stole my Microsoft Office account I've already contacted Microsoft support. What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room? Can I crash at your place tonight?

A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no. I have recently changed my "porn browser" to Microsoft Edge Magic 8-Ball, what do you think of Microsoft's email client? Outlook not so good. Microsoft has released Windows 7, Windows 8, and Windows What happened to Windows 9?

Seven ate nine. I bought a Microsoft advent calendar But if you open too many windows at once, they shut down for no fucking reason. Sorry this didn't help. Thanks for your feedback. Not sure if you're aware, but Windows Essentials which Windows Live Mail is part of is 18months out of support Although on that support page it mentions that previously installed versions will continue to work, in practice once something goes end of life frankly you're in borrowed time for how long it will work.

Suggest having a look at the Windows Mail app built into Windows Or if that doesn't have the right feature set you're looking at either buying Office to get Outlook or getting a third party mail app. Was this reply helpful?

I think Microsoft needs to get back in touch with their users. This thread is locked. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator. Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.

What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now. The soup and your check.